What traits should we look for in a friend or a spouse? Probably a person who is beautiful/handsome, humorous, witty, smart, interesting, compatible, etc.

What I will consider to be the best trait to look for is KINDNESS.

Yes, all of us can easily love someone beautiful or handsome, but looking at Hollywood couples who split despite being very beautiful and handsome does show that this trait isn’t the most important in life.

The Bible in First Corinthians chapter 13 says that LOVE is the most important trait. Indeed, every good deed done by man can probably be traced to the love of something. For example, being ecologically friendly is an act of love for planet earth. Acts of love can be quite vague, so I think kindness makes a good substitute or subset of love. Let me give a few examples of when kindness can make a difference – a person giving his/her time to do volunteer or charitable work to the less fortunate, a person covering the workload of another colleague willingly, a person helping a friend to run errands, a stranger saving someone in trouble such as drowning or being robbed.

It is good to be kind, but sometimes an act of weakness can be mistaken as an act of kindness, so it is important to always make sure that one is really acting out of kindness and not weakness over something. For example, if you feel compelled to give a donation to a beggar out of embarassment, then it is an act of weakness, not kindness.

So, if you are not beautiful or handsome, humourous or witty, fret not, because being kind should be even more important as a person, and that is something that everybody can achieve.


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